I’ve been up in Sydney for the Easter weekend, spending time with family and friends. Throughout all of this, it’s been evident that I’ve regressed a lot since moving to Melbourne and being immersed in the struggle of existence under capitalism.

It’s been a root cause of my deterioration for a long time, but after a really helpful conversation with my girlfriend, Bri, I think I’ve finally found a way forward.

The essence of this new source of hope is really simple: capitalism doesn’t matter.* (for the purposes of this discussion)

It doesn’t matter that my existence was borne out of a flawed, cruel, financially-crippling, classist, bigoted, vile and entirely unethical system.

It sucks, that’s how my society is right now. I don’t accept it, but I understand that my existence is subject to the whims of capitalism, and there’s very little I can do to change that fact.

…what I CAN do, is stop disavowing my existence as meaningless due to its membership of capitalism, and acknowledge that I can exist on my own terms, according to my own metrics, aligned with my own goals, independent of whatever the fuck capitalism wants of me.

Capitalism’s a facet of my life, but it doesn’t have to be the sole determinant of my purpose, nor my personality, my heart, my passions or my attitudes.

All of that? That’s up to me.

It’s absolutely possible to give capitalism the middle finger, while at the same time, doing exactly what it wants you do, for your own reasons. That’s a sincere, real, valid and arguably optimal way of existing!

I think with this in mind, there’s a lot of work I can do to claim a life for myself that’s worth living, despite everything.

I’ve not been doing that so far.

Maybe it’s about time I started.